apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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