...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
tell me about the eggs
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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