so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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