Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
