Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
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he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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