i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
