He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
