Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
