I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My vagina just recognized that song.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize