I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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