I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He passed out mid-signature
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
