Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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