White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just gift wrapped bread.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
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the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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