I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
