I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
