Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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