Why are handjobs necessary in class?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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