I am spending my child support on dildos
im six kinds of drunk right now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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