i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
