Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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