More tranny stories later!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
