Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
