I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
what day is it and did you see me today?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Randomize
