That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
