You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
