i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
