I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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