You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize