My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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