I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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