nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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