So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
