Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
