I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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