Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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