hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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