I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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