I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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