that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
