guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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