At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Help. Why am I so naked?
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