Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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