remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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