covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
