A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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