My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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