life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
