he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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