Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
