so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
