Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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