goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
