For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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