I feel great
I just peed on a car
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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