Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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