Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
