it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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